Sick, Snow, Yelp

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Three quick things for you today.

Sick: I’m currently under the weather. Today was better than yesterday and I should back to my regular self by Saturday.

Snow: I don’t like it, I avoid driving in it at all costs. So if your road isn’t plowed and easily drivable, warn me, we can reschedule. It’s not a big deal. There’s only one of me and I can’t afford to replace my car so getting an accident to see one client is simply not worth it to me. I’d much rather reschedule for a warmer/sunnier/snowless day.

Yelp: I’ve been avoiding unknown callers on my personal phone for awhile now. I get a lot of marketing calls despite being on the national no-call list. And then I went on Yelp yesterday and realized that it had reverted to my old information, including my personal line and home address, which I had changed months ago. Argh. So my apologies if you’ve called a 703 number recently for a massage. If I’ve never seen you as a client, you aren’t saved in that phone and thus, I haven’t even listened to your voicemail. Please try again at 571.766.8007. Texts are much easier for my life, especially with the cough I have going on right now.

And if you saw my home address, because Yelp makes it awkward to be clear about it, I don’t see clients in my home, ever. In the past, I’ve had people text me that, oh, they are free at 6 and could be at my house at that time. Haha, no, pretty please don’t be that guy.

I really wish there was a way for me to skip the address part of Yelp but it seems insistent on plotting me on a map somewhere. If you know a way around that, please let me know. I am not sure how other mobile businesses do it.

So the tl;dr version: currently scheduling for next week, please don’t make me drive in the snow, yelp is not my bff so please use the 571.766.8007 to schedule a massage, & texts are easier than phone calls. I hope your hearts & flowers day is as lovely as you. 🙂

a new phone number

So I got a new line for business calls and texts. The previous number on this site is my personal cell and I thought it was a good time to put a little separation between the two.


If you have my previous number, please note that it still works and you are welcome to still use that number to set appointments. If we have talked or texted previously, you’re probably saved in my contacts there anyway.


571.766.8007 — the shiny new number.


Prompt, Prim, Funny

In one of those fancy website/marketing/business lessons, I was asked for the three words that describe my business. They weren’t hard to come up with.

The first word that came to mind was “prompt.” There are only two things in this world that stress me out and one of them is being late. So I avoid it at all costs by leaving excessively early in order to arrive 5-10 minutes early. That way I have time to breathe, time for any traffic surprises, and no need to freak out. If I am ever running late, typically due to unforeseen things like downed trees, roads closed for utility work, etc., I will call to let you know and give you an ETA or reschedule (if say, a tree landed on my car).

The second word that came to mind was “prim.” Actually, it was the phrase “prim and proper” but I didn’t want to use up my remaining words with one phrase! I am a pretty laid back person (see above where only two things stress me out), I’ve been a massage therapist since 2001, I am the rebel in my family and I generally see myself as a pretty tough to shock. Still, if you want to unnerve me, just start getting undressed while I am still in the room.

I realized the core of this when I had a client recently who was from the large city near the tiny town where my mom grew up. This area isn’t known for being conservative but if you’ve ever been there, it’s pretty obvious.  We spent a few minutes chatting about the area, how lovely it is, what weird names the tiny towns have, etc. So a few minutes later, this client suggested that we could skip using the top sheet. I awkwardly laughed while pointing out that I always, ALWAYS use a top sheet. During the session, I swear to you, all I could think about was that even with complete disregard for the ethics, laws and regulations that govern massage therapy, he knew where my momma was from, how could he think I’d be okay with an undraped massage?

Clearly, it is my mother’s fault that I can only stand to see my clients fully dressed or covered by a sheet. It’s probably related to the ridiculous work ethics that my parents also forced upon me.

Let’s just say that despite how casual I am, I love all the ethics, laws and regulations that govern massage therapy. I think the associated fees and procedures are horrible but that’s a rant for another day. I am even nerdy enough to admit that I quite like being required to take continuing education classes.

The last word that I came up with to describe my business is “funny.” Because I am. I don’t necessarily try to be funny, I accept that I have some fairly unique views on things. This statement that I am a funny person in no way guarantees that I will make you laugh. It’s more like a warning that laughter is a possibility in all communication with me. (Also, if I say something that comes out oddly, I was actually probably trying to be funny there and wouldn’t mind a little pity chuckle.) So if you hate laughing and/or have no sense humor, then I may not be the right massage therapist for you.

So your rockstar massage experience will start with my showing up on time (by which I mean, a few minutes early), I will totally be a goody-two-shoes the whole time, and there’s a decent chance that you may have a laugh.

Today, I was in Occoquan, McLean and Alexandria.

A bold beginning

I realize that the name of my brand is bold for some people. Perhaps it seems arrogant. I can see that. I was actually a bit hesitant to use it at first.

You know what though? I’ve been a massage therapist for over ten years. From the days I was in massage school, whether in the classroom or working in the student clinic, to my days working in upscale hotels and day spas, to just in the last week, I’ve had people tell me that I am gifted, that I have great hands, that I am a natural healer, that I just gave them the best massage of their life.

How often do you have to hear that you are great before you finally accept it? Before you admit it out loud? I’ve been hearing it since October 2000. I think that’s long enough. I feel like it’s okay to say it out loud now.

I am not here to play small about what I do. Massage therapy is where I shine. I am a stellar massage therapist who loves her calling. Because massage therapy is not my job, it’s not my career, it is my joy and what I am meant to do.

I am Melissa who rocks at massage therapy, at your service.